So today is the first day of the brand new year and I am determined to get back on track with my writing. It really does help to remember the lessons I learn as I go when I record them and there are others too who have told me that what I write helps them too. As a matter of fact I sent out a last minute New Years Greeting to my groups last night before heading out and they loved it. It had to be divinely inspired because I didn't think too hard I just wrote. I will share it here for you because it really applies to any day, not just New Years:
I got a lot of inspiration for that from the divorce chat nights, reading about all the pain they have and trying to come up with words of comfort in a time where little is going to bring comfort. I also lost a friend, or rather someone I thought was a friend on Christmas but I gained a whole big new group of people to help, it was a great trade for sure! I took my usual 10 days off from Christmas to New Years but since Jeremy was working nearly every day at Toys R US I decided to not make the trip to Ohio alone. Instead I told all my friends that I would have time to spend with them and I spent many days with one on one visits with several people, some who were a big surprise but some I think I just may end up working with this new year. There is much to be done, many need help and healing and encouragement and many want to help. There is still much cleaning up and re-building to do for Union Beach and other nearby towns too.
I have a feeling now, more than ever before that God is finally going to be bringing me my perfect mate. I finally finally got past the yearning for Randy to become the kind of man that I need and deserve, I haven't answered any of his texts since the hurricane incident and I don't drive over on his side of town anymore, not even on my way to and from work. The main reason for that is because the road is always flooded now down by the beach, but still it helps. One night I was coming home from work at the office thinking oh I hope I don't pass him and wouldn't you know it I never saw him but he saw me and texted. I ignored him. That showed me just how powerful my thoughts are these days! But I am at peace with this and I forgive the whole situation, I even saw a pic on Facebook of him on christmas with "his kids" and I was glad to see that this year they didn't leave him home alone. It's a good feeling to not have any hurt and anger left towards a person from your past.
So this year I just feel good things are coming! Emerging was the first angel-card-of-the-day-2013 and I do believe it was a very fitting one at that! I am emerging from the pain the suffering the rough times....oh I have a lot to still get fixed but I am happy, that depression cloud just doesn't seem to hang over me any more, or that fear or that loneliness or that yearning. I only felt the need to make one resolution this year too, that is the diet and exercise one. I signed up for one of the online calorie counters and I stayed under my intake goal. This week I must get back to the gym..... Maybe its time I can finally free myself of this fat that I have been so attached to for protection and comfort....I don't need it anymore because no one can hurt me anymore. I do not need anyone's love or approval because I love myself just the way that I am and that is plenty!
How about you? Are you ready to emerge into the sunshine of a brand new day? a brand new era? This is the beginning of a very golden age.....step out from under that cloud, stop beating yourself up, just love love love! and find your sunshine!!
With Love and in the Light, Cassie